I know, I know, I know it's been a while since my fingers have graced this page. The one thing I realize about myself is that I tend to blog to make myself happy. When I'm already on a happy upward swing, it takes a little more effort. Not that this year didn't have it's moments, but for the most part it was pretty solid. With that said, I will challenge myself to continue to write (kinda easy when I actually love to do it).
It's been almost two years since I began my journey to a healthier me in body, in mind, and in spirit. Almost two years since I reluctantly stepped onto a scale in front of my family and my path of denial abruptly ended. Almost a year since my cheeks transformed into a smooth canvas to allow me to leave it bare or paint it with the colors of my choice, no longer under rosacea's control. I admit I continue to wake up in amazement that my cheeks stay clear on a daily basis. In fact I still want to stand on top of mountains to scream it!!!
But that is not what prompted my desire to post, it was ironically my old companion the scale. I forgot that it existed as it sat in my guest bathroom collecting dust. It was painful at first not to focus on my connection with it, but just like breaking up with a boyfriend time heals all wounds and my desire to see it faded. But this past Sunday I woke up with this strong need to see what my old friend could reveal to me. It probably been about 6 months since I had taken that step (I mean that leap) not because I didn't want to know my true weight, but because I didn't need to know it...it just didn't matter. I was truly out there enjoying life and all the moments it had allowed to cross my path. I held my breath as I waited for the numbers to appear, fearing what secret it was about to tell me, and to my surprise it stated 155 lbs!!! 155lbs means I am "within my ideal body weight" and can't even be called an "overweight dietitian", 155lbs means that I have lost 41lbs in less than 2 years with changing my attitude and behavior not by "dieting", 155lbs means that what I teach patients and clients is actually legit and that I'm actually helping people find their own epiphanies!
Now, 155lbs is still not my ultimate goal weight but I can tell you even before I weighed myself I have never been more confident in my entire life. I welcome the sound of a clicking camera pointed in my direction, I love when my children touch my face as they giggle, I walk confidently in the halls at work genuinely exchanging smiles with those who pass me, I can exchange a kiss and hold a gaze knowing that he is looking at my eyes not at my cheeks or that he thinks that I need to lose weight. This past year I experienced weddings, vacations, graduations, new friendships and relationships, and daughter going off to college but one thing I could not tell you is my weight in any of those moments. So can the weight game mindset be changed? I can confidently say "yes" because I have experienced it first hand.
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