Mirror Mirror on the Wall

Sometimes a perfect storm occurs which allows us to view ourselves in a different light. For me this occurred on October 19th. Almost as profound as my divorce date, this day is the day I woke up with clear cheeks. How vein is it for me to say that? Is vanity another flaw I’m about to reveal about myself? It can’t be because vanity and my usually insecurity are not friends. Is it even more veining to say, I can’t stop looking in the mirror.
So those of you who actually know me, no explanation is needed, but for those of you who don’t…..About 10 years ago I developed a rosy glow that resided on my cheeks. At first it was extremely manageable and would only open its ugly head when I was drinking, tired, or working in a hot kitchen. After a few years of irritation because my normally natural self-began to wear foundation to mask the pink, I was diagnosed with Rosacea. “This usually doesn’t occur to someone in their 20s” my dermatologist stated, but lucky me, I am always exceptional at beating the odds. Unfortunately, this was not an odd I wanted to win. Since then I have taken an antibiotic and placed medication on my cheeks almost on a daily basis. Since Rosacea is autoimmune and is not curable, if not managed it can progress into a worse “rash”. Despite all of my effort, the disease continued to progress. This occurred simultaneously with my pregnancies and weight gain. I believe in the last 5 years I can count the days my cheeks have been “clear” on one hand. Then about a month ago I went to my normal quarterly dermatologist appointment. With tears in my eyes I stated “I want to worry about wrinkles, not break outs”. She then did something amazing, she listened to me. She put me on a medication that has proven to cure the breakouts in Rosacea in 85% of patients. Seriously?!! There is a pill?! Why did they not put me on this before? I guess the issue is, this is a last line of defense and the normal course of action was antibiotics and topical meds which usually works. Just why did it take them so long to start this part of the regiment? I guess I needed to cry earlier.
They told me it would probably take about 6 months, maybe even a year. I started taking this miracle pill and my “odds” beating came in handy…my cheeks were clear in 8 days!!!!! Seriously?!! Now it’s been about 3 weeks of clear cheeks, which is longer than my cheeks have been clear in years. Life changing! I knew my cheeks bothered me but was not aware how much. Did I tell you that it was life changing? I now wear eye makeup, jewelry, a different hairstyle…all worthy of my new clear cheeks. All things I didn’t realize I stopped doing probably to avoid the focus on my cheeks. People hesitantly said to me “wow your face looks so good, no offense”. No offense taken! I think it’s awesome. See why I keep looking in the mirror.
Even though this post is not about weight loss, it is about body image. My red cheeks still affected how I viewed myself. It had nothing to do with my character; again I’m still the same person. I just hold my head a little higher. So look at yourself, maybe there are other aspects that affect you. Maybe you can hold your head a little higher while in the process of losing weight. In body image, every little win counts.