My journey to become a dietitian was definitely not traditional. I struggled with my career path all through college until I basically had none. I knew I loved science and Biology seemed safe...although waiting tables for the rest of my life seemed apparent.
I just decided to take a couple of classes at a local college when my then 7 year old daughter said "mom, I want to go on a diet". A flash of eating disorders went through my brain. I realized that my girlfriends and I have loosely used those words in front of her on many occasions. As a guilty yet responsible parent and having absolutely no experience on how to not screw up this innocent pallet, I decided to take a basic nutrition class in college.
Although my motivation in taking this class was my daughter, I quickly realized how much this class affected me. I have struggled with my own body image issues my entire life. I remember in high school saying "I wish I was as skinny as..." and my friends would point out to me that I was (most of the time I was skinnier). Once a friend and her boyfriend put me in front of a mirror and made me look at myself. Okay, so maybe this is a normal teenage insecurity, but I didn't want it to be the fate of my own children.
My body image issues spilled into my twenties. As I got older and my beautiful sisters did too, it was evident that we had different body types. My sisters were lean, small boned, with oval faces and sharper features...unlike me who possessed a round face, regular sized bones, and obviously inherited the curvy hips. Although my weight was fine, it was difficult to compare and not feel inferior.
Immediately I knew I had to be a dietitian! I knew that I could truly help those who were in the same predicament as me. I already knew I was good at counseling/teaching others, now I had the tools. What I didn't realize is that I chose a degree that many of those with eating disorders chose. Whether it's because they want to have more control over their own eating disorder or if they had a natural curiosity of the subject due to their own research. I also chose a career that others will always judge my weight. What was I thinking?! I know what I was thinking, I was thinking "at least I'll always be skinny" but weight was not my issue my body image was. As my blog is called knowledge is not always power. It was almost easier to be overweight, than it is to work hard on my body and still be judged on unreachable goals such as an oval face.
Now that I am 35, my weight struggle is still evident. But I must keep it together for my children. They do as I do, not as I say. I cannot tell them to eat at the table then go sit on the couch. They will long for the day of their invitation to move to the couch or just do so when I am no longer there to coach them. They watch my eating habits very carefully.
I can already recognize the "snacking" trait among my toddlers. Seriously they can eat all day long if I allow it! But unlike the busyness they possess, we adults simply do not burn the amount of calories and one day that will change for them too! My original motivation to be a dietitian was my oldest daughter, now my desire to overcome my body image issues is all of my daughters. What is worth your motivation?
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