Many of life's failures are men who did not realize....

Thomas Edison once stated "Many of life's failures are men who did not realize how close they were to success when they gave up".

Part of this process is to be exteemly truthful of this entire process. On a daily basis I have friends or family members who ask "how are you doing with your diet?" and I still find myself telling them little white lies. The past two weeks I fell off the wagon:(. I stopped exercising, stopped dieting, I felt my self falling back into my old habits. I now weigh 183#.

The truth is on January 14th my life and the lives of my children changed forever... even though the wheels were already turning my husband and I filed for divorce that day. True to form it was extreemly emotional to me as I focused on our future without my husband and I as a family (holidays, birthdays, the girls wedding, etc) while my husband is focusing on his new exciting future without me. His ability to move on so easily was extreemly painful to me, even though in reality we were not in a healthy situation. Me being from a divorce family, I know what could be in store...whereas he has never experienced divorce in his family. Sometime I feel like I'm ready to forgive him, but sometimes I'm soooo angry. But as he is in "bliss", the reality is he could care less how I feel. Me being angry, depressed, etc... only hurts me not him. The longer I hold on to this feeling, the longer the stress can affect by body and honestly I've lost too many years of contentment already.

Conan O'Brien stated on his last day on the Tonight Show "Nobody in life gets exactly what they thought they were going to get. But if you work really hard and you're kind, amazing things will happen." The truth is, we are both happier apart. That my daughters will have a better life with us raising them seperately...not together. That one day my anger will change to content and peace in our decision. That I need to just move on...and this morning I'm ready, this morning I'm moving on so that amazing things will happen to me;)