Is Weight a Mindset?

First of all I want you to know that telling my real weight to 300 of my closest "friends" was extreemly difficult for me. I still can't believe that I did it, but it is extreemly important in this process to be as truthful as I can be. I was talking to my sister last night on the phone about my new blog. I told her that I remember my weight of every important event in my life! High School graduation (126#), when I got my first official apartment (150#), when I broke up with my college boyfriend (180#), weight loss after being depressed after that breakup (162#), the day I graduated from WCU (145#), when I was going to UNC (162#), the day I married my husband (158#), we won't even talk about Makayla and Keegan's pregnancy weights (but I know all of them), the day I moved to Indy (179#), Thanksgiving 2009 (okay do I have to repeat that weight?)....so you get the picture. At what point did I begin to think that way? Was I programmed that way? Was it just insecurities? The funny thing is...I see myself in the mirror and in my head as the same weight ALWAYS! It's pictures that tell me the truth...maybe that is the reason I stopped taking pictures for so many years. I did do a brave thing this December (brave for me at least)...I got into the holiday pictures with the girls! And guess what, I didn't hate what I saw. Will I ever get past this weight memory game? I hope so, but probably not. In reality I just have to learn to remember the moment, not the weight. I was happy on my wedding day at 158#, not because of my weight but because of the moment. So is weight a state of mind...hopefully not!